He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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