she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize