mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
