youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
