I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
