Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
