YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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