If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize