yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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