I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
