OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
