You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
it's like iHOP with fire
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
