Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
