Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
