he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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