Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
