I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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