I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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