i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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