I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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