it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
