yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
