you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
