Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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