We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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