Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
