just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
