Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
