I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
