his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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