so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize