super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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