five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
jump out the window naked night went bad
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