new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
