I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
