8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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