they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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