shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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