Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's blow job season.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
