Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
