Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think I won the penis lottery.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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