ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
