I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
