whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
