You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
