his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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