Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
