Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
