He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
