GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
