Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
