Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
