I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
