My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
