The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
