Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
