the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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