So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
