hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
