This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
kristin has been a bad kristin
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize