Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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