i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
