is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
