Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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