this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
