If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize