Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
