Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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