the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
