i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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