So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
