he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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